I am single again. I don't like being single. Oh well, had to happen. On the up side, I discovered lipstick this weekend and I like it :)
About 12 weeks until I go travelling, hope it goes quickly!

Well, where to start really? I might be here a while. I'm hungover, it makes me all introspective and miserable so already spent a good few hours of today mulling over me, my life and everything in it. Its bloody annoying. This bit of drinking is even more unpleasant than embarassing oneself by doing something like, I dunno, puking all over a hotel bathroom.
Anyhoo...I would just write in my normal diary but I can't be bothered and I'm not really fussed about people reading this so here I am.

I am absolutely wracked by self doubt. I'm sure everyone is at one time or another but I think its almost constant for me. Every week I read this mental health agony aunt thing in the Times Style magazine and almost without fail diagnose a whole host of new things which are wrong with my 'personality' or 'self' or whatever you want to call the output from the squishy stuff inside my head. I worry that I'm boring, I worry that I'm lazy, I worry that I can't seem to stay out of a relationship for more than a week, I worry about meeting the right person so I can have a family, I worry about proving myself in whatever career I end up in, I worry I'm not friendly enough and can't do small talk for long enough to make friends, I worry that I gravitate towards egocentric people who turn out to be selfish and draining. I worry I might be too worried! Its just incessant. Sometimes I feel a bit more positive and accepting of myself; I've conquered most of my issues with my appearance and I'm getting more comfortable with that fact I'm shy, much as a barrier that can be to making friends and being successful.

Its just so hard to accept qualities in yourself that you don't admire in other people. I am in awe of confident, hard-working, intelligent and completely un-superficial people. I want to be less lazy, less negative, less dependent on others, more outgoing and approachable. I just want to be someone else! Its daft. I know I need to strike some sort of balance between accepting myself as I am and self-improvement but I can't help moping and dwelling on all my shortcomings.

I'm not sure what impression I give other people but I'm told I seem strong, confident, outgoing etc. Which just flummoxes me. I see myself as an unhappy, whiney, needy person lacking in self confidence and incapable of coping without the reassurance and approval of others. I'm sick of myself. I want travelling to be a turning point where I am able to cope on my own but I'm terrified I'll just get lonely and homesick and spoil the experience I've been working so hard to afford.

I mean it's not all negative, my confidence has grown quite considerably since I finished uni and I'm less worried about career and my future in general. I've realised I'm just a drop in the ocean and I'll always have a roof over my head and food on the table so it's pointless worrying too much about that. It's just myself I worry about, I want to be liked and I want to like myself.

My brain is just a mess, I don't think I can explain it any further. I'm probably just hungover and by tomorrow morning, when I start my new job, I will probably be feeling much better. I just wanted to vent really.

Well, for those of you I haven't told already (somewhat excited here!) I have booked my round the world flights. I'm going to Thailand for 5 weeks, Malaysia for 3 and then Australia (mostly Cairns and Sydney) for 2.5, finishing off in Auckland where I intend to work for a few months. If I get into uni I'll be back in July/August, if I don't I might never come back at all! Ok, so I probably will when the novelty of the scenery wears off...
Leaving Jan 22nd. Also booked a tour of Malaysia for when I'm there and plan to book both cooking and diving courses for Thailand. Then in Cairns I want to go diving to see the Great Barrier Reef. Oh, and I'm off to Croatia for 10 days tomorrow, huzzah!
Finally it feels like having a boring job and a limited social life is paying off!
Yay :)

Well, its been a little while since I've written anything here and despite there being very little to report I had such a chuckle at Jimmy's ear wiggling experience that I fancied a babble myself. All is well in the wonderful land of Leicester; I'm still living at home, I'm still dating a somewhat camp teacher (though not at all seriously)and Im still saving hard for my round the world trip.

Now that I've got a good 4k in the bank I thought it might be time to book some flights so today I got a quote. I intend to start in Bangkok, mooch for a few days and then go to a wildlife rescue centre to volunteer for a couple of weeks. Then back to Bangkok to get a train to kuala lumpur (apparently the trains there are quite decent rather than the crowded tin can I had imagined)where I want to do a tour of Malaysia which includes a few days in the rainforest, a couple of days snorkelling to see turtles and similar natural experiences. A bit of the old cultural malarky thrown in too. When thats finished I might go down to Singapore on the train (but not for long because its expensive!), back to Bangkok for a cookery course then off to Sydney.

I've found it so hard deciding where to go in Asia but as I'm travelling on my own I thought a well trodden tourist country and a tour with lots of wildlife would be enough for the moment. I really like the look of Malaysia because it's got the wildlife and a mixing pot of different cultures; Muslim, Malay and Chinese. Including all the food!
So anyway, hoping to get that booked next week. Then depending if I get onto the Science Communication course at Imperial College I might stay a full year in New Zealand on a working visa.

I finished my open university course and should find out if I passed at the end of the month. If I have I might do another short course, possibly the marine life one. Watching all of 'Blue Planet' and learning random facts about jellyfish? Yes please! Just been to a wildlife trust meeting about garden birds which I enjoyed and a couple of weeks ago I went to a walk at Rutland water and saw nightingales. Which are pretty rare and have the most amazingly loud song.

I've got a new job in a different department for a bit more money but I'm being seconded to my current job until August so stuck with phoning schools up about KS1 data for the moment. Yawnsville. Luckily I get a bit of a break in 12 days for my holiday in Croatia with my friend Jelena. So picking cherries in abandoned villages, a few days in Dubrovnik and some time on the beach to look forward to :) I'm planning on buying a new camera before I go so need to try and figure out which one would be best. It'll need to endure heat, humidity and a clumsy owner so that one the kid runs under the tap in the advert appeals. I shall not fall for marketing shite though so if anyone is knowledgeable about camera's please say so. Otherwise some sort of digital photography magazine will have to be purchased.

Oh and I got my tattoo finished. Its at the itchy, peeling stage so I'll leave the pictures for now. Its basically just a bit more shaded than it was before and I'm really happy with it. Shall be buying up every nice backless top on e-bay for a while now me thinks :)

And thats me. Almost a year since I left Aberystwyth and finally feeling fairly positive. Until I don't get into Imperial that is; then I shall despair and become a reclusive cat lady with biscuit crumbs in her beard.

Well, just a little update really. All is fine with me at the moment, I've got an interview tomorrow for a permanent post at the council. More money and useful things like sick pay. So fingers crossed! My friend Tracy would be my boss which would be weird but she's lovely so I'm sure it would be fine. And the extra bit of cash can start paying off my student loan because I got the bloody statement this week and the interest is starting to mount up. Scary!!!
Saving going quite well, have made my target for the month but I'm going on holiday next month so I know it might be a bit slow for a while now. Really looking forward to going to Croatia. Jelena is back from uni this weekend so we're going to start planning which places to stop in. So far we've got Dubrovnik, Sarajevo, Bosnia and Montenegro on the list. Should be interesting!
I've, ahem, failed my challenge. I am suitably ashamed yet enjoying myself too much to worry about it. Won't go into detail.
Tattoo being finished in a couple of weeks which I'm really looking forward to, already want another one though, can definitely see this getting addictive! Shall just have to restrain myself before I start scaring small children.
Hmm, what else? Ummmm...bugger all really! I'm going to the zoo at the weekend :) Yippee and I'm getting excited about the new Indiana Jones film so might have to pay the extortionate £7 it is here and go to see it.
That be all. Oh and Jimmy - I hate you, I want to be walking on glaciers, white water rafting, helicoptering and bungee jumping!! There had better be photographs, especially if you go whale watching. Oh, and try not to die xx

I don’t usually blog about anything much, just have a whinge and talk about what I’ve been doing. Embarassingly dull and predictable. But having read JTA’s recent post about the middle class identity crisis, which seems to have been gaining momentum recently, I decided to entertain myself for half an hour by laying out my feelings on the subject. They basically agree with what JTA said but it helped me to clarify my thoughts. I’m sure my limited knowledge and experience makes the following laughable; my knowledge of economics is abysmal and I don’t read or watch the news because its biased and depressing. I’ve hesitated about posting it at all but now I’ve written it I might aswell. So here goes…
I'm not sure class can be defined in the same way it has been in the past.
The land-owning, home-owning or manual labour labels just don’t cut it anymore. I think we now have at least four classes in our society, the tiny upper class, the vast middle, an ever-dwindling working and the underclass.
I think the working class is dying out as we have an increasingly services-based job market. There aren't enough 'working-class' jobs for what should be the working class so those with some intelligence adjust to become middle class while those without....become the state-dependant aspiration-free underclass. Or 'chavs', as they are most commonly dubbed. I like to think I'm not a snob (Ok so I probably am) and I do genuinely feel sorry for these people. Can you imagine having a life so hopeless that you accept the vicious cycle of teen parenthood, benefits, smoking addiction (struggling to think what happens next, possibly nothing!) etc. It’s beyond comprehension to me.
Anyway where was I?
The rest of the former working-class either remain so on the meagre amount of suitable jobs and sustain their solid values (which are admirable, perhaps why so many middle class people now want to be considered working class?) of working hard, family unity and patriotism. Or they become middle-class....which to me conjures either a positive image of intelligent, moral, educated people or the 'petty bourgeoisie' JTA referred to. Perhaps what we need is some redefinition.

This is the category I would least like to fall into, and probably the one these anti-middle-ists are so repulsed by. They have probably committed most of the daft faux pas Claire listed and are so desperate to be identified as middle class that they do these things with the boastful, smug, self-satisfied demeanour that gives them away immediately. I have to confess that my own father probably possesses elements of this behaviour, and it’s embarrassing. His parents are working class in the truest sense so maybe this is just a prime example of the social mobility I’m on about. We have a cleaner, he grows organic vegetables, dresses in head-to-toe Marks and Spencers, gets the Sunday chicken from a farm shop he drives miles to visit, buys whichever estate company car the ‘What Car?’ magazine rates highest, reads the Times, gets a loft conversion and the patio done to add value to the house, drinks red wine he pretends to be knowledgeable about etc etc.
That’s not me allocating myself to the category I just described so scathingly by the way, I’m just illustrating my point. It’s not the doing of these things which is so terrible, it’s the fact that people do them in order to demonstrate their class. Or lack of…

The rest of the middle class are fantastic in my opinion. But then I would say that as it’s obviously the category I would be more than happy to identify myself as! These people value culture, independence, quality (such as the salmon and new potatoes, Italian shoes etc) and most importantly, education. The fact that ‘education’ is now pushed upon far too many people, reducing its value and quality is a pity, but it’s not going to lose favour. This is a set of values which encourages individuality. You’ve done well when you excel in the field you’ve chosen. But only if it makes you happy. This is a set of values we should be proud of subscribing to and if it means the ‘middle’ label and the risk of being mistaken for the ridiculous ‘petty bourgeois’ of this society then I can live with that.

Trying to finish this damn open university thing. Looking forward to being able to slob out in the evenings guilt free. Currently trying to answer a question about countercurrent heat transfer in the flipper of grey seals. Joy.

Well, not a huge amount to blabber about but I just fancied a bit of a bla sesh. Wow, what an eloquent sentence. I had my first tattooing session on Tuesday so now have 5 partially completed starlings flying up my back. I absolutely love them. I suppose I ought to take a picture, I'll stick it on Facebook when I get round to it. The final bits are being done on the 2nd of June. Should have booked it earlier and I wouldn't have to wait so long but never mind. Should still be healed in time for Croatia. Its healing surprisingly well actually, I was expecting a gross scabby back for a while but you can't even tell its new. Even my mum likes it, my dad just made a disapproving face but everyone I've shown it to said its really nice and original. So yay. Still can't believe I've actually got it. I guess the novelty will wear off soon as being on my back I'll probably forget its even there. So yeah, there was that.
Also looking into new jobs at the moment, probably just some random council admin job but I think its going to be a few months yet until I go travelling so might as well get a slightly better wage and paid sickness and holidays. Plus my job is getting to the stage where theres hardly anything to do. I had to locate about 4000 kids and now I've pretty much done that there's only the odd one to sort out so I'm struggling to keep busy. Which makes time drag like mad so thats no fun.

Oh, I know what I meant to blog about. I knew there was something. I'm challenging myself to be single for at least the next three months. I worked out that I haven't been single for more than about 8 weeks since I was 15 and that seems a little unhealthy. So, having been single for about 3 weeks already I want to try and make it to three months at least. I think it will do me some good. So now I've told people I'll have to stick to it.

Still battling with the OU course, I've now done 6/10 chapters and tomorrow I'm going to answer the questions on the final assessment which I know the answers to so far. Then have two more weeks to finish the rest. Its going to be tight but I shall just have to get on with it. I'm hoping to be in Aber the last weekend in April so that will motivate me to get on with it. Should be staying a night with my friend Maria and one with my ex-housemates, with a trip to Troma on the Saturday of course :) Hope it's going to be something random and silly. Actually, perhaps I should put in a request that we might let me watch my first ever Troma studios film? I've been to a few Troma nights now but have managed to never see one! I also escaped the first-time interrogation but I'm happy to let that one slide :) Plus everyone there has probably played enough circle games with me to know the more interesting answers by now....

I've made a new friend which is somewhat of a challenge for me and my social ineptness. Her name is Liz and I shan't go into how I met her but she's lovely and fun so that's cheered me up. I've also started some free meditation classes. They're run by some funny religious sect but they don't try to ram it down your throats, just teach you about meditation. I've always been sceptical about that sort of thing but the idea is to change your thinking habits and make you more positive.

I'm a bit of a pessimistic, grumpy and occasionally depressed cow sometimes so if it works then yay. This week I'm focusing on peacefulness and optimism and so far I'm feeling pretty good. If I can stop myself getting into the miserable slumps I sometimes over-think myself into then that would be fantastic. Ok, now everyone thinks I'm a daft hippy but whatever, bit of open-mindedness won't hurt for a change.

The Leicestershire and Rutland wildlife trust talk about bats is on Tuesday which I'm very much looking forward to. I've studied them a bit on my course and there was an article in BBC Wildlife magazine this month so it'll be great to see one up close, I'm quite excited. Sad or what. Anyway, I do ramble on, apologies, over and out x

I have stayed on the sofa, all day. Watching lost season 3. I look like a mess and I smell funny. I am not proud of myself. And that is all.

Well, I rarely write this thing seeing as very few people read it and I can only be bothered when I've got something to rant about. But seeing as certain friends have buggered off stupidly far away, have to keep in touch somehow! Not a huge amount going on in my life at the moment. I've decided to go and work in New Zealand for a few months and hope to leave in October then I want to travel Malaysia on the way back. This all depends on my savings though and I've been home for ages and haven't even hit the 3k mark yet so must knuckle down with that.
I took up an OU short course called the 'study of mammals' in November and have left it stupidly late so will be spending the next month frantically trying to complete 9/10 of it and the final assessment thingy. Eeep. Am single again, quelle surprise. I really need to develop better taste in men, its embarassing.
Starting to think about applying for an MSc (I know, funny) in Science Communication at Imperial College. Wouldn't start until 2009 and I don't know if I'll get a place, but I shall try my best. God knows what else I'm going to do if I don't get on it! Possibly stay in New Zealand if I like it...
Just spent Easter weekend with a yucky cold doing family stuff, shopping and watching films. Which was quite pleasant and relaxing. Its the only time I've had off apart from my week in Pembrokeshire back in January. Feels like a million years ago!
Got my flights booked for a trip to Croatia in June with my best friend who is Serbo-Croat. We're going to see her village, Baljci which was destroyed in the war, so whats left of it really. Few days in Dubrovnik, couple in both Bosnia and Montenegro and then various cities in Croatia. I can't wait!
Tattoo is being started on the 8th of April, should get the first three starlings done. Few changes to make to the design so I'm going to see him this week hopefully. The guy who's doing it is lovely but I don't like going to the studio because the other ones are grumpy gits and look at me like I'm from another planet. I think its only reasonable I want to talk to him about the design seeing as I intend to have it on my back for the rest of my life!
They scare me. Oh well.
Been walking alot in an attempt to spend less money on buses. Its going well, takes me 50mins each way to work so I often get a lift either there or back. Think I'm getting a bit fitter though which is good. Hopefully won't look utterly useless when I go on some guided walks next month. I've started going to Leicestershire and Rutland wildlife trust meetings, which is interesting. Last time was a talk about amphibians and next time its bats. I love bats.
Might try and take up an evening class this term but I'm not sure I can justify spending the money on learning Indian Head Massage or Beadwork, much as they appeal.
Anyhoo, thats what I've been up to. Hope everyone is well xx
P.S I also passed my driving test, at last. Only 3 minors, woo :)

Hello!
Just a bit of an update. Have an interview for a new job tomorrow morning so fingers crossed because I'm bored out of my tiny little mind at the current one. The new one is for a charity and I would get to work on the support line some of the time which I would enjoy. Would also get to write some literature for them and come up with ideas to promote them, good stuff again. I just need something to stimulate my brain, I'm so utterly bored all day five days a week and that does not do ones state of mind any good. Also trying to make new friends at the moment because I have so few in Leicester and the ones I do have don't tend to get out much. I actually went out on my own last night because there were some DJs I particularly wanted to see. It was surprisingly good fun!
Went for a little stroll to Foxton Locks yesterday which made me really want to go on a canal boat holiday! I haven't been for a few years and it was actually quite fun. My tattoo is being started on the 8th of April and I'm already getting nervous! Should look good though, there are some draft designs on my Facebook if anyones interested.
So yeh, not much more to say really, trying super hard with my saving but need to book flights for my trip to Croatia in June so that will be a small chunk gone. Anyhoo, I bore myself. Ciao for now x

Well, I rarely update this thing but I'm super excited so I need to tell someone, somehow. Today I put down the deposit for my first tattoo :) A rather talented chap called Neil is drawing up the design for me and it should be started in a couple of weeks. It will be five starlings across my back, not sure how big yet. Will get it done a bird at a time I think, mainly to spread out the cost as its £60/hour and approximately an hour per bird he thinks. But yaaaaaaaayyyy. I've wanted one since I was about 17 but its taken me this long to decide on something I want and I don't want anything small and insignificant.

In other news, my job is insanely dull and I'm looking out for something else. Oh, and things are going very well with Nick, very very well. Spending increasing amounts of my time at his flat which is good because I hate living at home, for which I am now paying rent :( Fair enough but annoying when I don't want to be here. I remind myself that it probably just covers food and that they're being really generous because its a very small amount.

Jimmy left for Thailand yesterday which is fantastic for him but has made me feel a bit rubbish because its just reminded me how far I am from going. I mean it'll be worth it and I need the time to get enough money together but I feel constantly guilty when I spend even a small amount of money because I could save alot more. I need a life though, can't just slave away, I'd die. I'm a depressive, pessimistic bitch as it is and it wouldn't help! So yeh, need to make more friends so my time is more fun and save as much money as I can. I intend to go next new year-ish. So yes, nearly a year away.

Anyway, love to all reading this and if you're an Aberite I'll see you sometime in March :) x

Well, seeing as Dan has given me the nudge ;) I'll tell you whats going on in my dull little life. Christmas was fine, family etc and apart from that I've just been working and attempting to entertain myself. Problem is, none of my friends go out because they either can't afford it or just don't want to so I spend alot of time just being bored. I really need to meet new people but I don't know how I would do that. I'm hoping to take up salsa dancing so maybe thats a start? I did join a womens LGB group but most of them are older than me and in couples so don't go out either.
I went speed dating a few weeks ago and have met someone though and thats going fairly well. Hes away for the christmas break at the mo, hes a teacher. So next weekend we're having a sort of 'getting to know you' time. That means making dinner, watching DVDs and going to Birmingham for shopping and art galleries. Doesn't solve the going out problem though! I wasn't too bothered in Aber that I didn't get to dance that often but in Leicester its really getting to me.
Looking forward to a few days away in Milford Haven on the 8th, should cheer me up a bit :) I just get bored so easily and its not like im even managing to save a huge amount of money. Ah well, I shalt whinge no more. Hope anyone reading this (i.e you Dan) is happy and well xx

Well, as usual my last post was all doom and gloom but I'm fine, at the moment anyway. Am starting on my Open University short course on studying mammals, which already is ace because I get to watch the David Attenborough series and it counts as studying :)

Work is fine and I've been told I can stay on for like another year if I want to. We had food for Diwali today which was all delicious, particularly these potato pakora thingies although they were a tad warm on the chilli front.
Has inspired me to cook my friends family a curry tomorrow night, will have to be a veggie one as her sister is far more committed than I and actually manages not to eat any dead animals whatsoever.

Went along to a womens group at the LGB centre last night with some people from work but it was a bit disappointing; not many people go and they're all so different (well, the only thing they have in common is being lesbanims after all)so not much decent chatter and most were alot older than me. I'm considering going to the Leicestershire and Rutland wildlife trust events and meetings but slightly concerned that I will be the youngest and least knowledgeable person there. May be worth a try.

Driving lessons are going very well and my test is booked but I'm not telling anyone when because then I'll have to admit it when I fail. Though fingers crossed for that not happening! My tonsils are coming out at the end of this month and I'm hoping that'll make all the difference to this sleep apnoea thing so I can stop being so damn tired and maybe alleviate the snoring. Its embarassing.

Open day at Imperial College coming up where i find out if the course I want to do is worth doing but I'm sure I mentioned that already. So yup, all fine, trying to keep myself busy. Visiting Aber was wonderful, I miss it alot yet already feel like an outsider.

Why is it, even at the ripe old age of 22, you can't stop being deeply affected by your parents' comments on the way you choose to lead your life. I'd had a wonderful weekend until around half an hour ago. I spent most of it with Mike and we had a lovely, happy time just being together.
Then this evening my parents decided to confront me about whether Michael is a good choice of partner, how hes really lazy and questioning me about how hes going to support a family and blah blah blah.
Recently I came to the conclusion that I should ignore my parents' opinions as their marriage seems such an unhappy, unfulfilling one. My father is stressed up to his eyeballs and has to drink smoke and overwork himself to the point of exhaustion in order to be able to sleep at night. He never relaxes and you only meet the person my mum claims he used to be for brief days during summer holidays away.
My mum seems unhappy, they spend very little time together and she bottles up all of her feelings.
These are not emotionally healthy people. So why oh why do their opinions affect me so deeply? I now feel anxious, depressed and negative. I need to clamp down on the worrying process they've triggered before I become a complete wreck and end up making myself single again.
They said things like they knew people it had happened to, I needed to think about I wanted out of life and if I don't address the problem all the good men might be gone. I mean what the fuck?! Way to make me feel great about myself. Urgh.
Anyway, don't think I have much more to say about that, it is what it is. I now need a hug. But oh, they don't do those either.

As numerous people have already blogged, Q Party was great, although it might have been better had I not overdone the wine. Sorry again Jen and Jimmy *cringes*. The speeches were lovely, the food was pretty good (was it Paul who did the meat and veggie labelling? thankyou!), the drink was the right level of cheap and it was just brilliant to see both people I know and people I've just heard of. I said my bit in Dan and Claire's card so I won't get soppy but congrats again guys, you're both ace x

my evening class has been cancelled. There is nowhere else in the whole of Leicestershire where I can study a science at any level above GCSE. If i want to learn to speak english, get a maths GCSE or an IT or business qualification I could do that anywhere, any day, any time. To actually learn something interesting while having a full time job I'll have to teach myself through the open university. So bloody shit its ridiculous.

Last night I had an utterly bizarre dream in which I was at the Q party, which for some reason was at Dan and Claire's huge sprawling country bungalow. The sun was shining and everyone was running about in the garden. I wish I could remember more, I do remember having a random cuddle with Dan. But yeh, fingers crossed the actual party goes as well as my dream one :) Have bought a new dress for the occasion so everyone had better look damn smart!
Missing Aber terribly and will be visiting asap after the party, maybe a weekend in early October. Work is going fine, about to enroll to do AS Biology evening classes and also will be volunteering for something. Can't decide between assisting mentally handicapped people with arts and crafts, reading with children or working at a nature reserve. Living at home is having its ups and downs, the ups including free food and wine and the downs including being driven insane by my overbearing father. Ah well, tis free, can't complain. Other than that, not much to report, just very much looking forward to the party next weekend.

Just a quick update- I've been at home over a month now and finally this week I got myself a job. Its at the Leicester City Council working on a database which tracks children living in Leicester city to ensure they're in school. So far it seems OK but theres alot to take in. I was originally supposed to be getting a measly 6.50 an hour but my lovely manager lady phoned HR and fixed it so I get £8 an hour now, which is great. Living at home is getting to me slightly but i'm trying to just think of it as a means to an end, which is of course going travelling. As any facebook-goers may have noticed I am back together with the numerously afore-mentioned boyfriend. Its possible we might be going travelling together but if hes not ready when I am then I'm off. I got my results this week and I have got a 2:1 overall which is great. Graduation is next week and on Thursday I'm going to see Tori Amos with Jimmy which I'm extremely excited about. So yes, all is well, I'm off to an Indian wedding reception this afternoon which I'm hoping means lots of nice food and watching (not joining in!)drunk people dancing. Ciao for now :)

Find this jobhunting thing extremely depressing. I'm not qualified for anything and things I could apply for just dont appeal to me in the slightest. I need a job but I don't want one and the ones I do want seem completely unreachable. The only job I can think of which I wouldn't detest is a zoo keeper but thats rather unrealistic. I'm going clubbing at the weekend which I'm hoping will cheer me up, probably not a great idea to be going with my ex boyfriend but whatever. Not much more to say really, just feeling rather down.